Thursday, 7 June 2012

For Things Which May Come

I don't know when it started and how but some day I decided I will make my own decisions about my life and shoot down others' opinions about my choices no matter how shaky, undecided and scared I felt at the moment. I have a habit of keeping things close to the chest. I have a habit of withholding secrets or parts of stories and dreams because in my heart and mind they will never ever be understood by another. You know in your mind you have this half-formed image that you can never translate into words? So, I let the images be. I would love to fall back on someone and rest for a while but 22 years have taught me I need myself to do even a stupid koi fish sketch in a biology lab book to be satisfied with it, even if I am pressed for time. Every change of heart, every change of decision is my own and it is affected by more (or lack of) knowledge of the situation, more (or lack of) understanding of what really is and what is possible to be.
Weeks of running around in the insane 43°C (and up) scorching, humid heat has finally come to an end for this month at least. I can tell you now (perhaps without the fear of jinxing it) that I start my Post Graduate classes of Film Studies from July! I came in 4th in the admission test and hopefully my UG final semester's exam results would be fine (keeping the fingers crossed for things have a habit of going wrong for me). And I am also ready to put it in my blog that I now own a Nikon D5100. I got it a few days back and I am learning to use it properly. Somethings are special to you irrespective of the fact that it is something material. I don't attach any feelings with material things, I have learnt very early in life that anything can be taken away just like that and it hurts and that pain is pointless. But you know what somethings also become milestones in your life. These two things are just that for me. And that's why I am so very afraid. The roads will take me somewhere from here and I am ready for the ride. But for now all I want to do is curl up and rest so that I'm feeling fresh when it all starts. I am just one of those people who hates physical labour because it makes me feel so inadequate!
Here are some pictures I took when I took the camera for a test drive...I'm learning, don't judge..







I told you my mum has beautiful flowers and these are just a couple of shots of them..the light went away pretty soon as it got cloudy but didn't rain till the next morning. 80% humidity means no respite!
Just Breathe till next time and we will get through...

13 comments:

  1. Thank you for this present.
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  2. I can't wait for more pictures from your new camera. Your resolution is strong and admirable.

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  3. Love the pics of the flowers, just perfect! Great post!

    xoxo, Alessia

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  4. Debi! Congratulations! First of all, I am so glad to hear you'll be starting post graduate school in July. Secondly we all have dreams or images of ourselves where we can't exactly put it into words but we can see it. Finally, I am SO thrilled to hear that you are now a proud owner of a Nikon D5100! That is an amazing camera and I know you will put it to good use. Well deserved and tell your Mom she does have gorgeous flowers...and also a gorgeous daughter (both inside and out :)

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  5. Ooooh a nikon 5100?? That woudl be my dream. You took beautiful pics debi!!

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  6. Congrats on your school AND the new camera! Both are very exciting.

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  7. You click beautifully. Also loved the post, so heartfelt. :) I like such random posts :)

    Can't wait to see more pictures.

    Love,
    Sonshu
    www.thesonshu.com

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  8. i shot flowers too when i first had my camera, haha.... they are beautiful pictures and lovely flowers for your mom:))

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  9. Congratulations on post graduate studies and a new Nikon! That is so awesome. And it is wonderful to be scared. It means life is interesting -- not easy, but worth exploring, even making mistakes in. My husband and I were just talking about how so many people convince themselves that they stay where they are (job, neighborhood, routine) because they think it is best to maintain that life. But it is the equivalent of flatlining. No pulse whatsoever. For someone pursuing film studies, I can completely understand the need to jump ahead with your eyes closed sometimes. Rather frightening, but you never know what wonderful images you'll see when you finally open your eyes. Good luck, and have a restful time before the next jump. -- J xxxx

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  10. Sweet post Debi :)
    Found you through ur tweet! Good luck with ur PG and waiting for more lovely snaps from your new cam :D

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  11. I like the photos you took. They're not bad at all :)

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  12. Super congratulations on the camera Debi! It takes beautiful photos. Your mom's flowers are gorgeous! Be YOU! That in the end will make you happy. I understand about keeping things to myself (that i feel others wouldn't understand). I've done it before. As I get older, I pretty much don't care. So I end up sharing unique things and others that like it too connect with me.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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